Hi Team!

Tomorrow is our dreaded holiday party. As we try to avoid one another and over-drink in order to cover up all of the awkward and bitter feelings we have toward each other, we need to remember that this is still a work event and so we need to mimic the behavior of civilized people. I’ve attached our company’s Code of Conduct policy as a reference.

Let’s celebrate all of our half-hearted work, and share a toast to another year of political grandstanding, information hoarding, and scapegoating!