Dear Team,

I’m excited to announce the promotion of two members of our organization.

Jon-Jon Rudke is being promoted to Director of Neglect, leading our Ineptitude and Ignorance efforts. Jon-Jon has been at MizrE for the last eighteen years – splitting his time between frustrating customers on the retail front and ignoring his subordinates internally.

Mo Dickens is being promoted to Director of Nepotism, and will be spearheading our new HR initiative that we’re so excited about — Workplace Dalliance — which is slated to launch in Q2 2014.

Please join me in congratulating our two new esteemed directors. We are looking forward to a great FY2014!